Obsession of the moment...

Central Park...I REALLY need to go more often..

today is the first day since saturday i am going to have some sanity. It was my sisters birthday so as a gift i took her kids for the weekend...and it was quite the handful. 5 children in all ages 4-13, really i feel bad for Tiff because she was the one that mainly did everything...i slept. alot.

We went to central park and had a picnic. Its the first time I've been there in about 10 years. it was very crowded and congested, but it was a saturday so that was to be expected, we also didnt go to deep in, we were lazy and picked the most convient spot. It was a nice time. My friend Donnell (who i will go into in another post) helped us out too. He brought soccer balls for them to play with and he played with them and let them beat him up. We rock climbed, and they put me on the tire swing and pushed me around about 100 times, and me and regine went up the slide and ran around a little. When we got back we made them dinner, and ATTEMPTED to put them to sleep. I dont think the ice cream cones helped much with that, but they did have fun eating them.

The rest of the weekend i pretty much slept through, that was the only day of the week i had been out. I still feel pretty shitty and depressed but im trying my best to make my way through it. Today i have to send in the letter to my potential future boss so she can "close my employment file" and i can see if i have a job or not. I really want it so bad, and im really nervous that i'm not going to get it. At this point if i dont get this job, i think im going to have a mental break down, its been about 8 interviews and still no job. Its tiring, and it really is a huge blow to my selfesteem.

I hope i get it so i can do more things with them, I know either way they just like spending time with me, but i want them to see the world...and it takea a lot of money to do it. especially 4 of them.